you ever think to yourself, "goddamn, i really miss this one specific person," even though you know you'll never get them back again? not a pleasant feeling. its almost been a full 10 months since we broke up, and i still cant stop thinking of him. i miss him as a friend too much. i dont even care that ill never have him as a boyfriend ever again, i just want him as a friend again. he was such a cool person all around, exactly the type of person i want in my life. if i could stop myself from ever confessing to him and messing it all up, you bet your goddamn ass i would. and even worse, our mutual friend who was kind of the reason i confessed to him (not trying to put blame on her bcz shes my friend ofc but i wouldnt have confessed had she not told me that he reciprocated my feelings) told me that she used to have a crush on me "to make my day better or something." like, uri, te quiero hermana, ¡¡¡¡¡pero NO!!!!! that does NOT make me feel better!!!!! that just makes me angry, if anything!!!! if you had a crush on me and knew that he did as well, i know its shitty, but i rather u had lied in my dms the day i told you i liked him and just said "oh sorry but he doesnt like you he likes someone else :[" LIKE PPNES FewfdijwebifwkjJWBDIQBIbbQIFXQWEIIPSN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't really blame Uriel, I just really, really, miss him. I miss being friends with him so, so bad. I enjoyed being his friend and being around him so much, even if it was just an online friendship. He was the epitome of cool to me. I just wish I could have one more chance, but of course, you only get one in life. Nothing is promised, everything ends. Love is fake, death is real, life is finite and happiness is short. When you have it, enjoy it and cherish it. Prove that you cherish it, because my love thought otherwise. He believed that I didn't value what we had, and I wish he could only understand that it was the complete opposite. I was unhappy, yes, but not from him. He was the only thing that allowed me happiness, and yet he believed that he brought me none. My friends all think he was a shitty person for the way he ended things, and I understand why, but God, what I wouldn't do to talk to him one last time. I'm sorry for being so unhappy, D. I wish I could have been more for you.

Even moreso, I apologize for being so obsessive. Almost a year since we had started dating, and 10 months since we broke up. I still laugh to myself whenever I or someone else is discussing time and '7 years' is said. I was playing gmod (remember when we all used to play that together?) with my friend Noah from school, and all I could think of whenever I said his name was your story's version of Klonoa. The humanoid version named Noah, the one I did art of for you? The multiple drawings I did of your own, personal versions of characters for your story? I know you likely hate me, but I'm still a fan of 7y. I'm still a fan. I think I'm even still subscribed to your youtube channel on my alternate account. I was never lying when I complimented how cool your remixes and even your own beats were. In a way, subconsiously I assume, I believe that you were the reason I was finally able to begin making my own small beats and loops, despite them being simple and probably nothing like yours. You were the only person I was ever close enough to know made music, and was actually, seriously good at it. At least, to my memory. (aka no insult to my other friends i may be forgetting.)

I'm sorry, D. I apologize for being so upset, depressed, clingy and yet somehow distant, unhappy, and most of all, obsessive. Feel free to let me know of any other negative adjectives I may be missing to describe myself, Lord knows I'd type them all down here, no questions asked, if it meant one more dm from you. I found out your birthday, by the way. I mean the specific date this time, not just the general month. Not to be creepy, of course, I just regret the fact that we didn't have the chance to last long enough for me to give you the 'happy birthday' that you deserved. I regret ever being with you every night, day, in every dream, nightmare, thought, any time that something reminds me of you. Not for my own sake, but for yours. I apologize for ever bringing you pain of any sort. Once again, like I stated in March (should have been the 19th), good luck, D. I hope you still believe in it.